


We will be okay

by ChristinMKay



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: 2012X2016, Comfort/Angst, Domestic Fluff, Established Relationship, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Time Travel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-29
Updated: 2016-05-29
Packaged: 2018-07-10 22:17:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,334
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7010605
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChristinMKay/pseuds/ChristinMKay
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dan and Phil just returned from their tour and want to relax. But then suddenly out of nowhere 2012!Dan pops up which leads to interesting conversations.</p>
            </blockquote>





	We will be okay

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not a native speaker, plus I have dyslexia, so sorry for all the spelling and grammar mistakes

Dan was feeling sleepy. They had only returned from their tour five hours ago and he was heavily jet lagged.  
Phil was in their kitchen, fixing them some hot chocolate, while Dan was comfortably rolled together under a blanket on their couch. His head rested against the backrest and a pillow, his eyes almost closed and a yawn escaped his mouth.

His peaceful, relaxing moment though was suddenly interrupted by a loud thud, followed by a high pitched, but weirdly familiar, “What the fuck?”

Dan’s eyes flew open and to his surprise he was staring at himself. Well not quite himself. His hair was different, his body still lanky, and Dan couldn’t recall the last time he had worn that shirt.

He blinked in confusion, hoping this weird version of himself would disappear any second. Sadly the other Dan stayed exactly where he was, staring back at Dan, looking exactly as clueless, but there was also a hint of fear in his eyes.

“What the fuck?” he said again, and Dan couldn’t agree more.

Okay think Dan, he told himself.

Option one, he fell asleep and this was nothing but a dream.

Option two, he was exhausted from the tour and hallucinating.

Option three, there was a bend in the universe and somehow a probably around 21 year old version of himself ended up in his living room.

While seeing a younger version of himself might have been weird enough for a dream, Dan figured that everything else was still too real and too detailed to be a dream.  
However he doubted that this Dan is real and just appeared in front of him; stuff like that was impossible and only happened in sci-fi books and movies.

Only conclusion, he must have been hallucinating.  Which was somewhat alarming. Not daring to take the eyes of his younger self Dan opened his mouth and yelled far too high pitched for his liking, “Phil!”

The other Dan didn’t dare to move as well, though his eyes widened when he heard Phil’s name.

“What is it Dan?” he heard Phil say as he walked in, followed by a horrible loud clash.

Dan’s head automatically turned around to see that Phil had dropped their mugs. Phil’s mouth was slightly hanging open and his eyes were fixed on the other Dan.

“Dan?” he whispered, his eyes switching to his Dan quickly, before going back to the younger version.

“You can see him, too?” Dan whispered back. Phil just nodded. So Dan was not hallucinating, which meant that there was literally a younger version of him standing in their lounge. Dan didn’t know what was worse.

“This is absolutely fucking ridiculous,” Dan’s younger self exclaimed, “I mean what the fuck? What even is this? Why are you in my lounge? Just what the fuck?”

Dan wished he had an answer, but he was just as clueless. Yet he was less panicking, and surprisingly calm. Maybe it was because he was not the one who had travelled through time, or maybe because he felt Phil standing right next to him. Phil’s presence soothed Dan, especially since Phil was always calm himself.

“Considering that it’s 2016 and we are both here I think we should rather find out why you are in our lounge,” Phil replied and younger Dan’s eyes got even wider.

“2016?” he asked with a thin voice.

“Yes,” Phil said before he glanced down and noticed the broken mugs and spilled hot chocolate. “How about you sit down and tell Dan which year you are from and what the last thing you did before you appeared here. I’m gonna clean up this mess.”

Dan’s younger version nodded, and much to Dan’s dislike Phil left the lounge to get something to clean up. He didn’t want to do this alone, sure Phil would be right back, but Dan felt uncomfortable alone with himself.

“2016 and Phil is still a living flop,” younger Dan said, nodding towards the broken mugs as he sat down opposites Dan.

Dan frowned, sure he called Phil a flop sometimes as well, but the words of his younger self had just sounded cold and mocking, not affectionate. He ignored the comment and asked instead, “So which year are you from?”

“2012.”

Dan tried not to cringe. People on tumblr loved to joke around about how he would probably fight his 2012 self, but Dan had to admit that he had been a bit difficult back then. Mostly because things had been difficult.

“And I was just about to go to bed, but had left my phone in the lounge. So I went to get in, turned around, and was here,” 2012 Dan added.

Phil walked back in and started to clean up while he asked, “So you have no idea or explanation how you got here?”

“Obviously not,” 2012 Dan said harshly, Dan had to contain himself not from glaring at his younger self. Instead he asked Phil softly, “Do you need help?”

“I’m fine, thanks,” Phil replied and went back to the kitchen, leaving the two Dans alone again.

Dan didn’t know where to look and an awkward silence fell over them. He just wondered why his younger version didn’t say anything. If the rolls were reversed Dan would have thousands of questions. Then he continued to wonder if he were even allowed to answer those questions, not that he would be ruining his own future in the end by spoiling it. Both of them seemed to wait for Phil to return. Phil who always knew what to do, Phil who never freaked out, not as much as Dan at least.

His younger self actually broke the silence and asked with a slight startled look on his face, “Are you wearing nail polish?”

“Hm?” Dan needed a second to get the question, and looked down at his polished nails, “Oh yeah. Some fan gave us nail polish and I thought why not.”

He looked back up and shrugged. His younger version looked like somebody had slapped him.

Before Dan could ask what was wrong Phil walked back in and sat down next to Dan, legs bumping against Dan’s. He casually took Dan’s hand and linked their fingers like usually.

Dan wouldn’t even have noticed if his younger version hadn’t lifted an eyebrow and shot them a weird look.

Thankfully Phil started the conversation again, trying to find out how 2012 Dan had ended up in their lounge.

“And you are sure you have really no idea, not even a tiny one how you got here?” he asked.

“No, I already told you,” younger Dan replied, “ What did you do before I showed up? Maybe this is all your fault.”

His voice was hostile and accusing, but Dan knew that voice. He knew that his younger version was just trying not to show how scared he was. It was a defence mechanism.

“We just returned from our tour in America and spent the last couple of hours on the couch,” Phil told the younger Dan, who’s eyes widened once more.

“You went on tour?” he asked disbelievingly.

Dan decided that now it was probably too late not tell his past self about his future. Everything was already ridiculous enough, he doubted this would  have any major impact on his life, when his younger self went back to 2012. If they figured out how to get him back.

“Yes, ‘The amazing tour is not on fire’,” Phil explained, “last year we had a UK tour, this year we went through America. We still don’t know about an Europe tour, but we would like to.”

2012 Dan sat there silently and looked as if he had zoomed out.

“We will go on tour together,” he said, more to himself than to Dan and Phil.

“Yup, there is quite something ahead for you,” Dan yawned, God was he tired he suddenly realised. If his younger version hadn’t shown up Dan would already lie in his comfortable bed, having sweet dreams about shiba Inus  or God knows what.

Phil seemed to sense how tired Dan was. He pressed Dan’s hand softly, before he said, “So far we can’t tell how you got here, or how to get you back. But it seems like we are all tired and exhausted, and often a full night of sleep helps with solving problems.”

Sleeping sounded wonderful to Dan. He just wanted to be wrapped in a blanket and wake up tomorrow to find out it was just a weird dream. The other Dan seemed to think the same and nodded.

“I’m gonna go to the office then,” he said, but Dan held his younger version back.

“Why, you can simply sleep in my room. I mean it’s technically yours as well.”

His younger self just stared at him stupidly, “And where are you gonna sleep?”

“In Phil’s room,” Dan said, not striking him as odd at all. Not at least until 2012 said, “Oh,” in a very surprised tone. Before Dan or Phil could add anything else, his younger version basically fled the lounge and disappeared into Dan’s room.

Dan and Phil shared a look before they got ready for bed. Dan was ready first and climbed under the cozy covers he had missed so much during the past months. Phil crawled right next to him minutes later, after turning off every light in their house. He put his arm around Dan’s shoulder and Dan rested his head on Phil’s chest. Phil’s  heart beat always calmed him down. It had become Dan’s personal lullaby over the years and it had been a blessing in the loud, moving tour bus. No matter how crappy the road had been, Dan always felt so at ease in Phil’s arms. This made him realise something.

“I forgot that we didn’t share a bed back then,” he mumbled against Phil’s chest.

“Me too,” Phil answered, “but 2012 was four years ago. It’s so far away it almost feels like a different universe to me.”

Dan hummed in agreement. The living example that 2012 had been something else, was lying in bed next to them, only separated by a thin wall. Neither of them really liked to think back to 2012, there was too much pain, too much anger, too much bitterness. The thing is they were not mad at each other when they thought about 2012, they were both mad at themselves. They both had made mistakes, they had both hurt each other. And Dan hated himself for it sometimes. He had hurt Phil badly, and while Phil had sometimes hurt him as well Dan felt like he had caused more pain. This was probably the reason why he had so much trouble interacting with his younger version.

Dan used to hate himself, by now he was actually quite happy with who he was, but that didn’t keep him from hating his past self.

Dan yawned once more and Phil pressed a quick good night kiss against his forehead. The steady up and down of Phil’s chest rocked Dan into a light sleep. It was only light because later Dan was woken up by the sound of footsteps. It took him a short while to realise that it was his younger self, shuffling in the next room. Phil seemed to have woken up as well.

“Ugh, am I always that loud when I’m pacing?” Dan grumbled.

Phil chuckled, “Yeah, but you haven’t done that in like two years. I completely forgot the sound of it.”

Dan could feel his cheeks heat up. All those times he had have an existential crisis and walked from one end of the room to the other, he had kept Phil awake.

“Why did you never tell me?” he mumbled, face hiding in Phil’s chest.

“Technically I once did,” Phil said, “remember during this BBC tell the truth event? But to be honest I was used to it by then.”

Dan snorted and cuddled closer to Phil trying to find sleep. But of course he didn’t. He groaned, “I’m gonna go talk to him.”

“Wait, Dan, no,” Phil yawned. “You don’t have to.”

Dan pressed a short kiss against Phil’s temple and said, “I know, but you need to get some sleep and the pacing is annoying the hell out of me.” Dan shuffled out of Phil’s bedroom and entered his own after knocking on the door.

“Dan?” he asked It felt weird saying his own name.

2012 Dan had his back towards Dan and din’t bother to turn around. He seemed tense. Dan made a hesitant step forward.

“Are you alright?” Those words made his younger self spin around.

“The question should rather be if you are alright,” he almost yelled, anger flashing his face. Dan frowned in confusion. “What do you mean?” he asked. “Well given the things you say and the way you act, I’m wondering if you lost your sanity!” Now his younger version was yelling and Dan was only more confused. then he spotted his laptop on his bed. Tumblr, twitter, and youtube were opened, and Dan started to understand.

“You call yourself Phil trash number one and say things like ‘Stalk him until he loves you’. You tweet about cute boys and also make a 15 minute long video about how you think anime boys are cute, plus you mentioned Phil like all three seconds in it. Instead of ‘a friend’ you just mention Phil’s name all the time when you vlog! You are wearing nail polish for God’s sake!” By now it was hard to tell if his younger self was still upset or already hysterical.

Maybe Dan just imagined it, but when his younger version continued his voice seemed to tear up.

“So I’m asking you what is wrong with you?”

Dan knew himself, he knew how scared he had used to be, how he had built up walls around him, shutting everybody out and almost losing the most important person in his life in the progress. He could see all those fears in his younger self’s eyes, he could see the walls and he had to resist the urge to hug himself.

He simply shrugged instead, “I’m tired of hiding. i’m tired of so many things. I don’t want to hold myself back anymore, I don’t want to  be scared anymore,” he took a deep breath. “And there is no reason for me to be scared.” 2012 Dan blinked at him in disbelief. He stared, his mouth hanging open slightly and they both stood there in silence.

“I’m not scared….or hiding,” it was barely a whisper and Dan knew that right now tears were running down his younger version’s face.

“You’re shaking, Dan,” he said softly. “It’s okay to be scared.”

He knew that people often tended to demonise his 2012 self and the short amount of time he had spent with himself he let their voices influence him. But right now all he could see was a scared, miserable 21 year old boy. A boy who had been through so much, a boy who had to live in a far more homophobic world, a boy who still hated himself and was shaking with anxiety thinking about is unpredictable future.

“How could you,” his younger self demanded to know. “How could you do all this.” It was not accusing, it was more curiosity. And most important, it was a bit of hope in his voice.

Dan smiled slightly.

“You did a lot of research didn’t you?”

His younger self nodded.

“I guess you also saw how supportive all the people are. It’s 2016, the world has changed. People come out all the time people are more accepting.”

His younger self still looked at Dan as if he was somewhat mad.

“Look I know you, Dan, because I am literally you,” Dan cringed at how weird his own words sounded. “I know that you are scared and I know that you don’t want to or canÄt admit it. But let me tell you things will get better. I know how miserable you are right now and how much you hurt. But please, please believe me that things will get better. You will be happy.“

His younger self looked still so lost and so helpless that Dan just couldn’t stand there anymore. Without thinking about thinking about it Dan stepped forward and hugged him, He still remembered how bad he had needed a hug back in 2012.

2012 him was still a tiny bit smaller than Dan was now and it felt slightly weird to hug himself, but Dan knew how much his younger version needed the hug. The fact that his younger self was pulling him even closer was proof enough.

“You will be okay, I promise,” Dan kept whispering. He could now feel the tears of his younger self soaking his shirt.

“It will be okay!” The remained like this for a while until 2012 Dan had calmed down. He took a deep breath as they parted and then asked, “So are you planing on coming out?”

Dan chuckled. “At some point, probably. You know it’s kinda hard to come out and not, you know, tell them about Phil and me,” he explained.

His younger version frowned again, “Doesn’t he want to come out?”

Dan realised that being a scared, young boy didn’t apologise his ignorance and behaviour towards Phil. He had been such an asshole at some points, blaming Phil for everything that went wrong.

“You know just because he doesn’t tweet stuff like ‘FYI I like vagina’ doesn’t mean he is ready to out yet. You know how much he values his privacy,” he said. And it was true, Phil always seemed to share a lot with his audience, but for the people who knew Phil in real life, it was obvious that he only showed about 15% of his life.

The obviously had talked about coming out. They had thought about coming out. They had thought about doing in a live show, or maybe during pinof 10. They didn’t know how yet, only that it would probably happen during the next three years. Dan was testing the water constantly and he liked it quite a lot. Calling boys cute, subtly hinting how much Phil truly meant to him.

Phil was comfortable on the safe beach, or well the dark, cozy closet and Dan didn’t mind. He would never push Phil, and while their fans definitely would be supportive he feared their ignorance of private boundaries and invasiveness.

Phil also suggested not making a big announcement or similar. They could just subtly hint and hint their relationship more. Start wearing their rings on camera, not editing the little babes and loves out, hand holding in public. It would be ridiculous still pretending to be just friends when they were in their 30ties moving into their own house and adopting a dog. Nobody would buy the lie anymore. They already saved some money for it. Planing his future with Phil always gave Dan a warm tingling. He had also joked that they could announce that they had been married for years in 2022 and Phil had just rolled his eyes. The memory made Dan smile as well.

2012 Dan ripped Dan out of his thoughts.

“Will….will he be okay?” 2012 Dan stuttered.

“Well your Phil right now is as miserable as you, and I still regret every day not being there for him. You know we could both have taken care of each other and things would have been less ugly.  But genuinely speaking, yes, he will be okay. Phil now is as happy as I am. We are in a good place.”

Dan couldn’t help but give his younger self at least some shit. His younger self just nodded and looked at the floor.

“Okay,” he said, “maybe I should go to bed now, so we can work out how to get me back tomorrow.”

Dan couldn’t agree more, he was also quite tired.

“Sleep well,” he said, and gave 2012 Dan a quick hug. As they hugged 2012 Dan’s face pressed against Dan’s chest and then he froze.  
“Is that a ring underneath your shirt?” he asked his voice slightly pitched, his one hand resting again Dan’s ring, he was wearing on a necklace beneath his shirt.

“Uhm….yes,” Dan blushed, “we got married in Japan last year. Well we had a ceremony the legal stuff we had to do in the UK.”

“You’re married,” his younger self whispered, but he couldn’t hide the awe in his voice. When Dan and Phil started dating Dan had liked to fantasise about getting married one day.

Back then it had been a stupid day dream, now it was reality. For 2012 Dan, who feared about his future, especially his future with Phil this still sounded like a dream.

“Don’t be so surprised,” Dan teased, “you should know by now that Phil is the one.”

Now 2012 Dan blushed before he mumbled, “But am I the one for him?”

Dan stayed silent. He often felt like he didn’t deserve Phil. But that was because Phil was a literal ray of sunshine and the most magnificent person Dan knew.  Dan used to be afraid that Phil would wake up one morning and realise he could do so much better than Dan, that he would wake up and leave Dan.  But instead Phil woke up every morning, giving Dan a kiss and yawning, “Morning, love you,” before turning into a coffee hungry monster.

Dan nodded. “I think so,” he said. “At least we have been together for 7 years by now, either he is truly mad or we are the one for him if he can bear us for that long.”

His younger version let out a small laugh. “True,” he said, “I’m gonna go sleep now.”

Dan gave his younger version one last smile, before he left his bedroom. He crawled back  into bed to an already sleeping Phil. Automatically, though Phil pulled Dan closer as Dan snuggled against his husband. Dan once more realised how tired he was and sleep came easily.  
  


 

Dan eyes flew open as he sat up. With slight panic, he looked around, but all he saw was the darkness of his own bedroom. It definitely looked like his bedroom, but was it really his? Quickly he grabbed his phone and checked the date. 2012. He let out a sigh of relief.

It had been nothing than a weird dream. Man did he have a vivid imagination and a fucked up subconsciousness. Yet, was him being happy such a fucked up dream? The dream lingered somehow.

_You will be okay_

_Phil is just as miserable as you are_

_The world has changed_

I am happy

_Phil is the one_

He tried his best to fall back asleep, but he couldn’t. All his brain did was scream, “Miserable! Miserable! Miserable!”

Dan rolled around in his bed, he wondered if Phil could hear him, if he could already hear is pacing. But then he realised that it was not likely since Phil was probably asleep. He was lying there awake, his eyes glued to the ceiling, before he decided to screw it and got up. With determination, he walked out of his room, but then stopped in front of Phil’s door. Was this really a good idea? Probably not. It was actually a stupid idea, a fucking stupid idea. But Dan had to try it.

Is he really as miserable as I am, Dan wondered. Phil who was always positive, Phil who took the piss during most of their fights because he didn’t want to hurt Dan. Phil who deserved so much better than a person like Dan. Dan couldn’t bear the thought of Phil feeling just as shitty, so he knocked on Phil’s door and went in.

“Phil?” he whispered, “Phil are you awake?”

Stupid question, obviously he was sleeping, Dan thought. But then a sleep voice asked, “Dan?”

“Oh, hey…did I…did I wake you?” Dan stuttered. Suddenly his idea seemed even more stupid.

“Kinda,” Phil mumbled, “Are you okay?”

“I…uhm…I had a nightm-…a weird dream,” Dan stumbled across his own words. “And I know we are on a break right now, but could I sleep here? Please?” he added.

He had never been so scared in his entire life before. What if Phil was going to say no. What if that dream had just messed with his head. There was no proof that anything in his dream had been real. What if Phil didn’t still love him? What if Phil wasn’t feeling as miserable as he was? The entire dream had been so weird, yet also it had been somewhat nice. Dan couldn’t have called it a nightmare. How could he call a future in which he was happy a nightmare. He had been confident with who he was, he had stopped hiding himself. And he had been with Phil, they even had been married for fuck’s sake, and deep down inside Dan knew that this was all he wanted

Phil stared at Dan confused for a second and Dan’s anxiety grew.

But then Phil lifted his covers and patted the spot right next to him. Dan hadn’t realised that he had held  his breath until that moment.

Quickly he climbed into the bed right next to Phil. He didn’t dare to move closer to Phil and cuddle him though. He waited until he thought that Phil was asleep. Automatically Phil put his arm around Dan and pulled him closer.

“I missed you,” he whispered and Dan started to feel all warm and tingly again.

“I missed you, too,” he mumbled, face pressed against Phil’s face.

They obviously still had problems, and obviously this didn’t fix all their problems immediately. But it was a start.

And yeah, maybe they would be okay, Dan thought before he closed his eyes and drifted back into sleep.

**Author's Note:**

> Feel free to leave kudos or even a comment if you liked it or have a cheeky glance at   
> [my tumblr](http://fallenfortherighteous.tumblr.com/)


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